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The MAGNITUDE of Submission! (Ephesians 5:22)
Background:
In the book of Ephesians, the apostle Paul addresses various aspects of Christian living and relationships. In Ephesians 5:22–24, he specifically speaks about the role of wives in marriage and instructs them to be submissive to their husbands. This passage has often been a topic of controversy and misunderstanding, with different interpretations across various cultures and time periods.

The purpose of this article is to examine the concept of submission within the context of marriage, explore its true meaning, and address common misconceptions. It aims to provide clarity and guidance for women in understanding and embracing their role as a submissive wives, as described in Ephesians 5:22–24.

The Cry: Paul opens his instruction with a loud cry to get the attention of his particular audience—WIVES! (Ephesians 5:22a)
When Paul starts his instruction in Ephesians 5:22, he does so with a loud cry directed specifically towards wives. This emphasis highlights the importance of his message and grabs the attention of his intended audience.
It is important to note that Paul’s letter was not only intended for individual households but was actually meant to be read to the entire congregation in the church at Ephesus. This demonstrates that the instruction on submission is not just a personal command for individual wives, but a broader teaching for the community as a whole.

By beginning his instruction on submission with wives, Paul shines a spotlight on the role that women play within the concept of submission within the family unit. He draws attention to God’s original design and intention for submission, using Eve as the foundational illustration.

Eve’s role as the first woman created by God showcases her submission to Adam as her husband. This illustrates the order and structure that God established within the marriage relationship. Paul emphasizes this example to show that submission is not a culturally conditioned concept, but a fundamental part of God’s creative order.

In urging wives to embrace their role as submissive partners, Paul is inviting them to follow in the footsteps of Eve and align themselves with God’s design for marriage. This perspective allows wives to see submission not as a burden or a loss of freedom, but as a way to honor and fulfill the purpose set forth by God.

Understanding that Paul’s cry is not just a command but an invitation can help wives approach the topic of submission with an open heart and mind. Embracing the concept of submission within the context of marriage can lead to a more harmonious and fulfilling relationship with their husbands.

The Command: The wife is to willingly subject herself (to submit by placing herself under the authority of) to your own husbands. (Ephesians 5:22b)
The command for wives to submit to their husbands is found in Ephesians 5:22, where it states, “The wife is to willingly subject herself (to submit by placing herself under the authority of) to your own husbands.” The term “submit” is not explicitly mentioned in the original Greek manuscripts but is borrowed from verse 21 to emphasize the concept of showing humility to the Lord.

To submit means to willingly place oneself under the authority and direction of another, in this case, the husband. It is crucial to note that this command applies to husbands, children, masters, and slaves within the family as well. The purpose behind this command is to demonstrate a willingness to submit, just as Jesus submitted to the will of the Father for the benefit of others.

The phrase “your own husband” emphasizes the personal and specific responsibility of the wife to submit to her own husband. By submitting to her husband, a wife displays her willingness to submit to God’s authority. It signifies an understanding that God has established a hierarchy within the family structure for the benefit and harmony of all members.

However, it is important to caution against misconstruing the concept of submission. Submission should not be approached selectively, where one picks and chooses which aspects to follow or ignore. A person’s submission should not resemble a smorgasbord, where preferences determine compliance. Anecdotal examples, like the woman who sought advice from other men until she received the desired response, highlight the potential pitfalls of such behavior, leading to broken trust and harmful consequences. True submission is rooted in a genuine desire to honor and respect the role of the husband in the marital relationship.

By understanding the command for wives to submit to their husbands as an invitation to align with God’s design for marriage, wives can embrace this role with an open heart and mind. Submission within the context of marriage can lead to a more harmonious and fulfilling relationship, where both partners can fully live out their roles and responsibilities.

The Clarification: The wife is to submit to her own husband as if her husband were the Lord Himself. Note the use of a simile. Here Paul is pointing out that the wife’s willingness to submit to her own husband reveals her willingness to submit to Christ.

The clarification in this context refers to the specific understanding that the wife’s submission to her own husband is not just a mere act of obedience, but rather a reflection of her submission to Christ. The use of a simile, comparing the husband to the Lord Himself, emphasizes the importance of this concept.

By comparing the husband to the Lord, the apostle Paul is highlighting the spiritual significance of a wife’s submission. The simile suggests that just as a wife would submit to the Lord without question, she should also demonstrate the same level of respect and obedience towards her husband. This does not mean that the husband should be idolized or treated as infallible, but rather that the act of submission is a way for the wife to honor and follow the leadership and authority that God has established within the marriage.

The idea behind this clarification is to emphasize the connection between the wife’s submission to her husband and her faith in Christ. It is through this submission that the wife is expressing her trust in God’s design for marriage and her willingness to align herself with His plan. It is not about asserting dominance or control, but rather about recognizing and embracing the roles and responsibilities set forth in the marital relationship.

This clarification is important because it helps dispel any misconception that submission is a form of subservience or oppression. It is not about the husband exerting power and control over the wife, but rather about both partners working together in a harmonious and complementary manner. When both the husband and the wife understand and embrace their respective roles, it leads to a healthier and more fulfilling relationship.

The clarification regarding the wife’s submission to her husband as if he were the Lord Himself serves to underline the spiritual significance of this act. It signifies the wife’s willingness to honor and respect the authority established by God within the marriage, and ultimately reveals her faith and submission to Christ.

The Motive of Submission! (Ephesians 5:23)
In Ephesians 5:23, the apostle Paul highlights the motive behind a wife’s submission to her husband. He emphasizes that submission does not indicate inferiority or a lack of value. Instead, it signifies a recognition and understanding of the roles and responsibilities that God has assigned within the marital relationship.

Paul explains that the husband has been given the primary role of responsibility in the family. This does not mean that the husband is superior or more important than the wife, but rather that he carries a unique leadership role that is designed to serve the well-being of the family unit. The wife’s submission acknowledges and respects this God-given authority.
Furthermore, Paul emphasizes that the motive behind a wife’s submission is to support and encourage her husband in his relationship with God. By submitting to her husband’s leadership, the wife plays an essential role in creating an environment where her husband can grow spiritually and fulfill his calling as a husband and father.

This does not imply blind obedience or disregarding the wife’s own thoughts, needs, or opinions. Healthy submission means that the wife actively participates in decision-making and shares her perspective with her husband but ultimately respects his final authority in making decisions for the family.

The motive of submission is rooted in recognizing and respecting the unique roles and responsibilities that God has assigned within the marital relationship. It is a way for the wife to support and encourage her husband in his relationship with God and to contribute to the overall well-being of the family unit. Submission does not imply inferiority but rather reflects a deep understanding of God’s design for marriage and a desire to honor it.

Just as Christ is the Head of His family (the church), so the husband is to be recognized as the head of his family. In real life situations, when the body does not react properly to the instructions sent to it by the head, it brings dishonor and shame to the body.

The comparison between Christ being the head of the church and the husband being the head of his family provides a valuable insight into the concept of submission in marriage.

Just as Christ is the head of the church, the husband is seen as the head of his family in a similar manner. This does not mean that the husband is superior or more important than the wife, but rather it highlights the unique leadership role that he has been entrusted with by God.

In the context of the body, if the different parts of the body do not respond properly to the instructions sent by the head, it can lead to disharmony and dysfunction. Similarly, when a wife does not recognize or submit to her husband’s leadership, it can create friction and tension within the family unit.

However, it is important to note that this concept of submission does not imply blind obedience or disregarding the wife’s own thoughts, needs, or opinions. Instead, it encourages healthy communication and participation in decision-making. The wife’s submission is not about suppressing her individuality or voice, but rather about actively supporting and respecting her husband’s authority as the head of the family.

When a wife willingly submits to her husband’s leadership, it creates an environment where the husband can fulfill his role more effectively. It allows him to take responsibility for the well-being of the family and make decisions that align with guiding principles and values. Conversely, when a wife resists or undermines her husband’s authority, it can hinder his ability to lead and create disharmony within the family.

The comparison of Christ being the head of the church to the husband being the head of the family helps us understand the concept of submission in marriage. It emphasizes the importance of recognizing and respecting the husband’s role as the leader, while also highlighting the importance of healthy communication, participation, and mutual respect within the marital relationship. By actively supporting and submitting to their husbands, wives can contribute to the overall well-being and harmony of the family unit.

Here Paul is pointing out the result of disobedience to God’s calling (the death of Christ) and at the same time is setting the stage to introduce the role (or obedience) of the husband!

In this passage, Paul is drawing a parallel between the relationship of Christ and the Church, and the relationship between a husband and wife. He starts by explaining how Christ gave himself up for the Church, willingly sacrificing himself out of love. This act of sacrificial love is seen as the ultimate example of obedience to God’s calling.

By highlighting the result of disobedience to God’s calling, which is the death of Christ, Paul is emphasizing the seriousness and importance of obedience. He is setting the stage for his discussion on the role of the husband, which is to mirror Christ’s sacrificial love and obedience in his relationship with his wife.

Paul’s intention in mentioning Christ’s sacrifice is not to imply that the husband should have authority over the wife in an oppressive or controlling way. Rather, he is highlighting the sacrificial and loving nature of Christ’s leadership, which should be mirrored by the husband in his role as the head of the family.

This understanding of the husband’s role as one of obedience to God’s calling, and of sacrificial love towards his wife, lays the foundation for the concept of submission in marriage. It sets the stage for Paul to go on and explain how wives are to submit to their husbands, not as a means of oppression, but as a way of supporting and respecting their leadership.
It is important to note that Paul also emphasizes the importance of healthy communication, participation, and mutual respect within the marital relationship. Submission does not mean that the wife has no voice or that her thoughts, needs, and opinions are disregarded. Rather, it involves actively supporting and respecting the husband’s authority as the head of the family, while also engaging in open and respectful dialogue.

In this way, Paul’s message is one of harmony, mutual understanding, and mutual submission within the context of marriage. By recognizing and respecting the husband’s role as the leader, and by actively supporting and submitting to him, wives can contribute to the overall well-being and harmony of the family unit.

The Model of Submission! (Ephesians 5:24)
Alla Hospen’s statement highlights the biblical teaching of submission. The comparison made between the relationship of the church and Christ and the relationship of a wife and her husband demonstrates the importance and significance of this concept. It implies that just as the church trusts and submits to Christ’s leadership and authority, a wife should trust and submit to her husband’s leadership within the marriage. It is worth mentioning that this teaching does not imply inferiority or oppression of the wife. Instead, it promotes a dynamic where the husband takes on the role of a loving leader, while the wife actively supports and respects his authority.

Dr. Charles Spurgeon’s concern about the state of marriages highlights the relevance and importance of understanding the concept of submission within marriage. Divorce rates are alarmingly high, and this can have negative consequences on families, including the well-being of children. By embracing the biblical teaching of submission, couples can foster better communication, trust, and mutual respect, thus increasing the likelihood of successful and lasting marriages.
Friedrich Engels’ perspective, as mentioned in “The Family and the Sexual Revolution,” advocates for the end of the monogamous family as a means of liberating women. However, it is important to consider that the concept of submission within marriage is not synonymous with oppression or enslavement of women. Instead, it emphasizes the need for mutual respect, understanding, and support within the marital relationship. The intention is to create an environment where both partners have their roles and responsibilities, with the husband providing leadership while the wife contributes to the overall well-being of the family.

Friedrich Engels, a collaborator of Karl Marx, delved into the topic of family, private property, and the state in his work titled “The Origin of the Family, Private Property, and the State.” Here are some key points from his analysis:
Sexual Division of Labor: Engels argued that the sexual division of labor, specifically the roles of men and women in child-rearing, was a significant issue. He referred to this as “the first division of labor” – the division between men and women for the purpose of propagating children.

Marriage and Inequality: Engels criticized the institution of marriage, which he saw as an unequal division of labor. He believed that it perpetuated exploitation, where prosperity for some was gained at the expense of others’ misery and frustration. In the modern individualistic family, women’s labor became a private service, reinforcing male supremacy.
The Communistic Household: Engels contrasted the modern family with what he termed the “communistic household.” In the latter, multiple couples and their children lived together, giving women a public and socially necessary role. The modern family, on the other hand, confined women’s labor to the private sphere.

Women’s Labor and Value: Engels argued that women’s labor had no value within the monogamous family structure. Only when women participated in “public industry” and earned wages for their labor could they break free from exploitation. He saw the family as a microcosm of society, with parallels between the husband (bourgeois) and wife (proletariat).
Changing Social Entities: Engels emphasized that the family’s form and relations were not fixed but changed across different modes of production. Women’s oppression, according to him, was a relatively recent phenomenon in human history.

Engels highlighted the impact of family structures on gender roles, labor, and inequality, providing insights that continue to be relevant today. If you’d like to explore further, you can refer to his work “The Origin of the Family, Private Property, and the State” 

Shelia Cronan’s statement suggests that marriage constitutes slavery for women and that the Women’s Movement should focus on attacking this institution. While it is true that there have been historical cases of women being oppressed within marriages, it is important to distinguish between harmful relationships and healthy, mutually submissive ones. The biblical teaching of submission within marriage is grounded in the principles of love, respect, and partnership, rather than control or domination. It is not a call for the death of marriage but an opportunity to redefine and establish equality within the marital relationship.

Sheila Cronan, a feminist writer, expressed her views on marriage in the context of women’s liberation. Here’s a summary of her perspective:

Marriage as Slavery: Cronan boldly stated that marriage was akin to slavery for women. She believed that traditional marriage roles perpetuated inequality and restricted women’s freedom. In her view, the institution of marriage needed to be challenged.

Women’s Movement and Marriage: According to Cronan, the Women’s Movement should focus on dismantling the institution of marriage. She saw it as a crucial step toward achieving true freedom for women. By questioning and challenging marriage norms, women could break free from oppressive structures.

Radical Stance: Cronan’s stance was radical for her time. She advocated for a complete reevaluation of marriage, suggesting that its abolition was necessary for women’s liberation. Her perspective aimed to disrupt societal norms and empower women to seek alternatives.

Sheila Cronan believed that marriage was a form of bondage for women, and true freedom required challenging and ultimately dismantling this institution. Her ideas contributed to ongoing discussions about gender roles, relationships, and societal change 

The model of submission in marriage, as described in Ephesians 5:24, calls for wives to respect and support their husbands’ leadership, while maintaining open communication and mutual understanding. This concept aims to foster harmonious and lasting marriages, benefiting both partners and the overall well-being of the family unit. However, it is essential to approach the idea of submission within marriage with understanding and a balanced perspective, ensuring that it is not misinterpreted as a means of oppression or disregard for the wife’s thoughts and needs.

My Point … In the 21st century it is not a matter of marriage being tried and found wanting; but rather marriage being deeply wanted but largely untried.